Weeping, or Laughing, for the Future

A couple of things heard in history class recently:

Student 1(Discussing Copernicus and his Polish origin, with a student commenting on my own Polish origin): Mr. M, do you speak Polish?

Me: No, but...

Student2:Poland has it's own language?

Me: ???????? What do you think they speak???

Student 2: I don't know, Spanish or something!

Me: Oh my god.

Story 2:

Student 1 (in response to a discussion of Johannes Kepler): is he that guy that the holiday is named after?

Me: what holiday?

Student 1: You know, Johns Kepler?

Me: You mean YOM KIPPUR???

Student 1: oh yeah!!! so is he?

Me: Shoot me now.